Teacher: Billy, why have you not given me your homework? Billy: I made it into a paper aeroplane and someone hijacked it. There once was an old man from Esser, Who's knowledge grew lesser and lesser. It at last grew so small, He knew nothing at all, And now he's a College Professor.

Pupil: "Excuse me, Sir, but I don't think I deserve a mark of zero for this exam paper." Teacher: "Neither do I, but it's the lowest mark I can give." In college I'm studying Pharmacy - because I've always wanted to be a farmer

Q: What is the biggest pencil in the world? A: Pennsylvania. Father: Son, what are your results in the end of term examination? Son: Underwater. Father: What do you mean, underwater? Son: Below "C" level. Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher? She couldn't control her pupils!

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